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20 September 2009 @ 07:09 pm
Love is harder than crime (2/3)  
Title: Love Is Harder Than Crime
Author: ragelikeafire and punky_96
Pairing: Emily Charlton/Lucy Diamond
Characters DWP: Emily, Miranda, and Nigel
Characters D.E.B.S: Lucy, Janet, Max, Mr. Phipps, Ms. Petrie, Dominique and Scud
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: Emily struggles with her heart and her mind in order to save Miranda from the clutches of the evil Lucy Diamond.
Disclaimer: on our LJ/DW pages

A/N: See part one for our ramblings...

Love is harder than crime

Part two

Lucy fiddled with buttons on the control panel in the lair command room as a skittish-Scud paced the floor, swigging from a bottle of Pepto Bismol.

“I swear you are going to give me an ulcer.” Scud muttered.

Watching her loyal sidekick pace Lucy couldn’t help smiling. An image of red hair and wild eyes flashed in her mind. “I met someone...” Lucy remarked casually.

Scud scratched his head in confusion. “I'm not following. You kidnapped the Editor in Chief of Runway magazine and you were chased by government agents. How did you meet someone?”

“Okay, but you have to promise that you're not going to freak out.” Lucy pleaded as she bit her bottom lip.

“Freak Out? Why would I freak out...?” Scud was opening and closing his mouth like a hungry carp.

Lucy scrunched up her face, trying to be as tactful as possible with her long term buddy, “Well, ya know sometimes you...”

“OH MY GOD! WHO IS IT?” Scud shouted in frustration.

“What do you know about an Emily Charlton?” Lucy tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, hoping to avoid any further drama. She had been unable to get Emily out of her head since their encounter and she had searched for her identity the second they had got back to the lair.

Scud scanned his memory, “Emily Charlton? The girl from the smuggling op in Slovakia?”

“No.” Lucy hit a button on the console and Emily’s face projected on the giant screen in front of them.

“Oh my god! Emily Charlton?” Scud’s hands formed into claws as he shook out his rant. “Red Hair?... Ridiculously British?... Plaid Skirt?... She's a D.E.B.!”


“Okay, not only is she a D.E.B.. She's THE D.E.B.! She's the perfect score, perfect score means perfect spy!”

“Well, their poster child doesn't know it yet, but she's into me.”

The conversation—or self preservation society meeting, as Scud chose to think of it—was interrupted by the soft groaning of a groggy fashion mogul.

Miranda’s head rolled around like a rag doll as she fought her way into consciousness.

“Her majesty is awake.” Scud signalled towards Miranda.

Miranda groaned in disappointment as the reality of the situation sank in. The handcuffs pinched and twisted her wrists. The angle she had been placed in was playing havoc with her back. The undignified spread of her thighs—where her legs had been tied to the chair—was frankly unacceptable and she knew without looking that her makeup was beyond repair from the gas-induced tears. Surveying the equipment and the set-up in the room, she knew that this wasn’t some small-time opportunist grab. She also knew she had to keep her cool if she wanted to get out with all her fingers and toes still attached.

Lucy watched Miranda as she scanned the room; her eyes seemed to move in slow motion as she soaked in every detail before settling on Lucy and staring her down.

Although Miranda was in fact terrified, she did not want her captures to know this and was therefore relived when her signature calm, cool voice did not betray her. “What is the meaning of this?” She snarled.

“I am Lucy Diamond, the most feared criminal mastermind in the history of the 21st century.” Lucy announced as she strutted proudly towards Miranda. “This is my second. Scud.”

Miranda rolled her eyes. “Thank you for that vainglorious introduction. Would you like to tell me why I am here or am I supposed to be cowering in fear right now?” The defiance oozed from her body as the acid words dripped from her tongue.

“See…this is why I suggested the gag!” Scud muttered sardonically.

“Scud? Not helping.” Lucy scolded as she pulled him out of earshot of Miranda. “Erm…” She paused, scratching her head. “I know why we kidnapped her but did we discuss what we were actually going to do with her once we had her?” Lucy puzzled.

“Oh my god!” Scud rolled his eyes. “This is retarded!”

“I’ve been kidnapped by incompetents.” Miranda pursed her lips and then for the next hour she resolutely faced the wall.

Scud and Lucy went through the debriefing and passed out orders to their sentries to gather all the Intel after the kidnapping. The D.E.B.S. had arrived very quickly and Scud was concerned about just how much they knew. What did the D.E.B.S or the Feds already know? Just why did they have Miranda under protection? What he did know was that this would be the last time he relied on snippets from Uncle Nigel for Intel and research information.

The dark beauty and her pale ally whispered between themselves, whilst their cronies came and went, but Miranda refused to turn no matter how curious she was about whatever nincompoop plan they had cooked up. Her previous concerns had passed, she was clearly not in any mortal danger and really if they weren’t going to kill her—they were just wasting her time.

She was actually considering billing Ms. Diamond for the inconvenience when dinner arrived, brought in by one of Scud’s lesser scouts. Miranda’s stomach rumbled as she smelled the hot food but she adamantly refused to look interested. Scud released Miranda from her chair-prison and led her over to the table. He considered his options but decided that keeping her restrained would be safer for everyone and so he re-cuffed her to another chair. Scud made a plate for her and shoved it in front of her scowling face.

Miranda placed her free hand in her lap refusing to eat it.

“Miranda!” Lucy warned.

A flesh melting eye glare was sent her way, but Lucy just laughed it off. Being part of a crime family meant that she was relatively immune to traditionally intimidating types like Miranda, “I haven’t eaten carbs since 1995. If you think I’m touching that you are sadly mistaken.”

Lucy sighed dramatically and picked up the phone. “Mickey, our guest has special dietary needs would you bring her something that does not contain carbohydrates? Thank you.” Lucy ended the call and gave Miranda her best ‘happy now?’ eyebrow raise

“I don’t know what you expect to accomplish by bringing me all the way out here.” Miranda harrumphed.

“Would you lighten up? I know there’s a shit load of questions you’re just dying to ask me.” At Miranda’s eye roll Lucy switched tactics. “Well, then why don’t you tell me what is so special about you? About Runway?”

Miranda huffed. Her body language shouted that if Lucy hadn’t already figured that out by now, then there really was no point. Her white forelock dangled into her eye and Miranda was forced to reach up and brush it away.

For Lucy, in that moment, her ability to control that lock appeared symbolic. It too seemed to be signalling that Miranda was Runway and Runway was Miranda. The greatness of them both stemmed from inside the woman seated in front of her. And that woman had no intention of explaining herself to a clearly delusional cat burglar come kidnapper and her band of merry incompetents.

Letting out a long sigh Lucy said, “Come on. Try me. I want to understand.”

Miranda was caught off guard by the genuine curiosity in the woman’s voice and turned to regard her with a cold gaze. She remembered catching the woman at the window of her office watching her and the way in which she moved as she entered and challenged her. ‘The girl did have promise.’ Miranda idly thought. She canted her head to the left regarding her. “You want to know about Runway.” Miranda said it more as a statement rather than a question. “You kidnapped me to learn about Runway.” Miranda straightened her posture leaning back into the high backed chair. This was such a curious situation. “I’ll tell you about Runway.” Lucy looked relieved and glanced at Scud who nodded cautiously. “However.” They both turned to face Miranda as she continued on in a low stealthy voice. “You must explain why you kidnapped me and what you hoped to accomplish by doing so.”

Lucy looked to Scud who shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his own chair.

Miranda let the silence hang between them. This was almost as good as negotiating with Irv. It made Miranda intensely happy to be able to manipulate the situation; it was clear who owned the room.

“Clearly you want something from me or Runway. You do not seem to want money as you have not asked a ransom or asked who to contact for one and you do not seem to want to kill me, unless you are trying to bore me to death with your incessant babbling about DEBBY or whatever her name is.” Miranda rolled her eyes and let the effect of her words sink in. “So?” Miranda requested impatiently.

“I’m Lucy Diamond the notorious criminal mastermind. This is Scud my number two.”

“Again with the introductions…” Miranda shook her head.

“You want to know who we are?” Lucy said frustrated. ‘God this woman is impossible.’ She thought.

Miranda gave her a look that clearly said, ‘Stop the idiocy and resume competent thought.’

Lucy shook her head and continued. “Ok. Birgit. That’s why you are here.”

“Oh that just explains everything.” Miranda said sarcastically, glaring at her obviously simple-minded captor.

“Lucy dated Birgit Sparkle…” Scud intervened and watched Miranda for any sign of recognition. “From the Cartier Spread last month in Runway?” Miranda nodded but gave no other sign of understanding. “Birgit hurt Lucy deeply and one of the first things that she saw after spending three years—somewhere off the face of the earth— was that magazine with Birgit Sparkle Superstar Slut all over the cover and half the blasted pages.”

Miranda was desperately trying to keep a straight face over the revelation that all this was about a girl. Her eyes had widened considerably and despite her efforts to remain completely poker faced she was on the verge of hysterical laughter. She almost lost her glacial control when Scud’s cell phone ring began to chant, ‘Ppppoker face…’ He slammed his finger on the button to silence it.

Lucy jumped out of her chair startling both Miranda and Scud. “I’m Lucy Diamond! What right does she have to be in the Cartier spread?” She began pacing back and forth. “I stole diamonds for her. Gave her everything she wanted!” Lucy’s arms flailed wildly as her she became lost in her rant. “Instead of becoming my diamond she took herself to trashy town and dated behind my back.”

Scud caught Miranda’s eye and warned her with his eyes, ‘This may not make any sense for a while. Let her ride it out!’ Miranda nodded at him and wondered when she would get the chance to talk to him alone. He seemed like her only chance at a sane conversation.

“My bright star...” Lucy mumbled.

Miranda lost track as Lucy paced and prattled on. She pushed the food around on a newly delivered plate of food with a plastic spork. ‘All this high-tech nonsense and they can’t give me proper cutlery!’ Miranda sighed and tried to focus again on Lucy’s rantings.

“…she took trashy to a whole new level… Trainwreck McSlut...”

“...I found a note addressed to her ‘Sparkle McLove’ and signed from ‘Rain I Desire’…”

“…In Iceland I thought I found peace…”

“…I go for dinner with Auntie Jacqui and the press is all over…”

“...I can’t even plan the destruction of a corporation without being papped...”

Every now and then Miranda and Scud would share a look. At one point Scud even mouthed, “I’m sorry” to Miranda.

‘JACQUI.’ Miranda’s brain stopped her there. That one word seeped in. ‘Jacqui is short for Jacqueline.’ The only Jacqui that Miranda knew that had been the press recently was Jacqueline Follet. Miranda ran her mind’s file system searching the photo memory bank to find the press images about her. All Miranda could remember was that the woman was younger than Jacqueline, dark haired, and slim. When she’d read it the other woman in the pictures with Jacqueline could have been anyone, but Miranda was suddenly sure that it was Lucy Diamond.

“Your aunt is Jacqueline Follet.” Miranda stated quietly cutting through Lucy’s entire rant in five barely whispered words.

Lucy stopped pacing and locked eyes on Miranda.

Scud tilted his head as he looked her over. His respect for Miranda skyrocketing the more time he spent in her presence. He was almost glad they had kidnapped her.

Motioning to Lucy and Scud before sweeping the entire lair with her free arm, Miranda offered her theory—especially since Lucy wasn’t really explaining anything. “Irv and Jacqueline are trying to take over Runway by kidnapping me? That really is a new low. Even for them.” Miranda’s laugh was forced as she massaged between her eyebrows with her fingertips.

“What? No! My auntie… Well, it’s true she kind of hates you, but this is my plot not hers.”

“Are you sure? How much of this was her idea? How do you know that she isn’t using you for her own personal gain? Miranda pinned her look on the master criminal.

“What? This was my idea not hers! Are you saying that I don’t have a plan? Are you calling me an idiot?”

Scud jumped up from his seat, shaking his head at Miranda, silently imploring her to shut up! He rounded the table on his friend. Coming face to face with her, gripping her wrists tightly and looking her deeply in the eyes he said, “You’re clearly upset.”

Lucy huffed at him and tried to break free. “Why is it that I can hold the whole goddamn world hostage but I can’t find ‘The One’?” The tears formed in the corner of her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Because.” Scud released her wrists and cupped Lucy’s chin tenderly, looking deeply into her eyes. “Love is harder than crime!” He turned her by the shoulders and pushed her towards the open door. “Go get some fresh air and come back.”

Once he was sure they were alone Scud turned to face Miranda, to offer her an explanation. “Usually she just wants to sink Australia.”

Miranda glared at him. “Why am I not surprised?”

“When she gets upset she wants to break something or blow it up. Her talent is stealing diamonds and art, but she deals with pain by breaking things. As you can tell she couldn’t care less about Runway or you for that matter. It was Jacqueline’s idea to target you specifically—cause let’s face it, that woman has got a screw lose!”

Miranda and Scud both nodded in agreement.

“She doesn’t care about Birgit anymore. But seeing her face all over that magazine stirred up some dangerous emotions. Her auntie Jacqui just led those emotions down a certain path. Jacqui has always been good to Lucy and her contempt and bitterness against you simply sealed the deal. She would in effect ‘sink Runway’ or at least ‘sink the person who runs it.’ But just like trying to sink Australia, the plan was not very well thought out or researched as well as I would have liked.”

“We’re here because she was having a tantrum?” Miranda shook her head in disbelief.

Scud just nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to say the damning words.

“So. What now? How does this come to a resolution?”

“You’ll be put back on your throne—eventually. We just have to see how Lucy wants to play this out.” He regarded Miranda for a delicate moment, pondering his next question.

Miranda rolled her eyes, but before she got a chance to ask how it was likely to play out, Lucy stalked back into the room, minus the crazy eyes and wearing a different outfit.

“I want to know why you are being guarded by D.E.B.S.” Scud asked Miranda. “And why didn’t that show up on my research about you?”

Lucy watched Miranda’s face warily. She really didn’t seem to have any clue what they were talking about. “How long have those agents been with you?” Lucy asked expanding the question.

“I can tell you without a doubt that I don’t have any agents WITH ME. I have no idea what you are talking about.” Miranda said slowly and in a tone that brooked no argument.

“The fierce redhead and the candy striper that were armed advancing on your office as I incapacitated you all.” Lucy stated.

“You just described my assistants?” Miranda puzzled.

“Your assistants, Miranda, are D.E.B.S.” Lucy folded her arms across her chest and watched Miranda’s brow furrow in deeper confusion at her statement.

“So what’s the deal beautiful, you being protected or penetrated?” Scud watched the disgust spread across Miranda’s face but he couldn’t tell if it was his choice of words or the implication that she was not in full control of her world that had offended her.

“Clearly we are going round in a completely pointless circle here. I think you need to explain to me what a D.E.B. is.” Miranda looked at each of them in turn for an explanation. “Well?” She said impatiently.

“A D.E.B...” Scud began. “...is a secret government agent. Some people think that they are innocent. Some think they are trustworthy. But these people are naïve and ignorant. By the very nature of their selection criteria a D.E.B is nothing but deadly.” Scud raised a telling eyebrow to Lucy as he accentuated the word ‘deadly.’

Miranda rolled her eyes. “This is all very dramatic. If they are so deadly, why have I never heard of them before?”

“Did you not catch the part where I said SECRET government agent?” Scud held his hands up and shook his head in disbelief before—a now, much calmer— Lucy took over the explanation

“Rumor has it, that there is a secret test hidden inside the SAT for all girls; that measures their ability to lie, cheat, fight and kill.”

Miranda snorted a laugh. “Clearly you are mistaken. My Emilys couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag and Emily couldn’t lie to me if her life depended on it!”

“Look.” Lucy tried reasoning with her. “I know she has played the part of your loyal assistant for the last two years. And hey, maybe she does have some real loyalty to you, but Emily Charlton? She’s the perfect score. She was and has been the poster child for the D.E.B.S. since her first day at the academy and since her graduation she has had a stellar record.”

“Why are you telling me all of this? What do you want to know?” Miranda pleaded.

“What we want to know is what they are doing at Runway and why they are posing as your assistants.”

Miranda stared at Lucy with a blank look on her face.

“So?” Scud quizzed. “Why do you think they are with you? Protection or Pen...” Miranda fired a warning shot with her eyebrow, which discouraged Scud from finishing his favourite new phrase. “...Erm, protection or infiltration?”

“I am far from naive, but I refuse to believe that either of my Emilys would do anything but protect me. Rest assured though that before this ordeal is through I will get to the bottom of all of this.”


The next few hours in the control room were spent in deep strategy meetings, alternatively referred to, as Singstar battles. Miranda had been invited to join a team but unsurprisingly she had declined. So she remained, handcuffed to her chair and forced to endure the pain of their jovialities, whilst she flicked through a pile of magazines Scud had left her.

Lucy had fluttered in and out of the room infrequently during the frivolities and Miranda observed her distracted captor with interest. ‘What is she up to?' Miranda pondered.

Scud found Miranda intriguing. He watched her like she was one of his precious science experiments. At first she had been appalled at the suggestion that she should join in the game, seemingly bored as hell as she flicked through the old magazines. But Scud had faith because he knew that Gloria Estefan’s word was gospel. Eventually the rhythm was going to get you! First he caught her tapping her finger on her magazine to the beat of Wham. Then her foot moved in time with Frankie four-finger's version of ‘Brass in the Pocket’, by the time Key-Quick Billy was performing Blondie’s ‘Atomic’, Miranda was practically cheering and singing along.

Scud was just about to sidle up to Miranda to try and convince her to sing a duet with him when Lucy cut the power to the entertainment system.

“Time to go and pay Miss Charlton a visit.” Lucy announced. “How do I look?”

“I don’t say this enough… this is RETARDED!” Scud shook his head as he followed Lucy out of the room.


It had been a long, painful day and Emily breathed a sigh of relief as she kicked off her Manolos and placed her gun on the coffee table, with a heavy clunk. Reaching into her pocket, she felt a sharp cold object scrap against her hand. “Ouch.” Emily exclaimed. It was a diamond. How did it get in there? Could Lucy have slipped it in without her noticing?

“Do you like it?”

A familiar voice spoke from across the room. On instinct Emily grabbed her gun and spun around.

Emily heard the distinctive sound of the safety lever click on a weapon as she had spun around so she kept her aim. She could just make out the darkened figure sat in the armchair across the room. “Lucy? What are you doing here?”

“I urrrr, I realised that we didn’t exactly get off to the best of starts the last time we met.” Lucy explained as she rose slowly from the chair and moved out of the shadows, wary that she was staring down the barrel of a gun.

“Where’s Miranda?” Emily demanded.

Lucy saw the fear flash in Emily’s eyes. “Don’t worry she is safe. I’m not going to hurt her.”

“Tell me where she is then?

“Oh come on, I just want to get to know you. I thought maybe we could go out. Get a drink?” Lucy slowly lowered her weapon and Emily tentatively followed suit.

“Wot? Are you insane? You have kidnapped my primary objective and you are asking me on a date? You can’t be here.” Emily stressed. “I can’t go out with you!”

“Why not?” Lucy questioned.

“Like a zillion reasons?” Emily felt a strange pull toward this mysterious woman, she couldn’t explain it, but she refused to give into it.

“Oh come on, it will be fun, I promise.” Lucy stepped towards Emily, leaving just inches between their bodies.

“I said get out. I’m warning you.” Emily whispered, with a complete lack conviction in her voice. Emily swallowed to wet her suddenly dry throat and found her eyes landing on Lucy’s lips.

Smiling Lucy took the final step to close the distance. Her eyes flickered from Emily’s eyes to her lips.

As a defensive maneuver and because of basic protocol Emily spun around and hit the panic button on the wall. But as she turned back to face the room she found herself again inches from Lucy.

Lucy leaned in and her lips brushed Emily’s ear as the alarm screamed around them. “I wish you hadn’t done that.” She sighed in exasperation.

Spellbound by Lucy’s scent and the burning heat of her body, Emily turned her head and leaned in toward the full red lips. Just as they were about to touch, the door burst violently open.

“Oh my god!” Janet exclaimed as she pointed her gun at the two women.

Lucy and Emily pulled apart and spun to face Janet. “She almost kissed you… And you almost let her?” Janet stated, this time dropping her aim.

Scud burst through the open door behind Janet. “Time to go!... Oh!” He paused and smiled at Janet. “Hi, I like your sweater.”

“Oh thanks.” Janet smiled. “I have another one in teal.”

Lucy heard the sirens in the distance. “Emily? When can I see you again?” She pressed.

“You can’t!”

“Come on?” Lucy urged.

“I’m serious; we can’t see each other again. You are holding my boss. You know MY primary assignment hostage?!? Additionally I could get kicked out of the D.E.B.S for even talking to you.” Emily pleaded.

“Emily?” Janet whined.

“Come on, Lucy!” Scud ordered as he pulled her from the room.


The encounter had lasted only minutes, but the rigorous debriefing took hours. Emily’s mind was a swirl of emotions and now that the other agents were all gone and the quiet settled in around her, the silence was deafening! Exhaustion made her limbs heavy and the incessant questions from the agents and in her own mind made her feel like she was breathing underwater. Forgetting that she wasn’t exactly alone, Emily wrapped her arms around her body as she stared out the window into the New York night. Her view was pretty much restricted to the brick work of the neighboring building but tonight the view could have been as breathtaking as the Grand Canyon and it would still not have given her the comfort she needed to pull her out of the continuous loop of images that she saw in her mind’s eye... Lucy.

“Are you okay?” Janet asked from behind Emily, attempting to break through the haze. There was no immediate danger but Janet would feel better if… Bitch-Emily was back. She wasn’t sure what to make of this quiet distracted—uh— ‘girl’ standing across from her.

“Hmmm?” Emily hummed absently. “What?” She slowly turned her gaze from the window back to Janet. Catching her look of concern Emily’s eyes spread wide. The look shocked her out of her trance-like state and she suddenly felt appalled by her lack of control post—Lucy Diamond Encounter.

Not only had Lucy stripped down her defences, but the woman had somehow been able to jump start her libido despite her obsession with Miranda. In two years nothing had been able to break past the Miranda shaped fog in her brain. Emily felt the urge to shake out the guilty thoughts of Lucy, to put Miranda back in her rightful place. Surely something was temporarily disjointed to leave her this dazed and confused after flirting with Lucy Diamond.

“Ummm...I need to go.” Emily pointed toward the bathroom door and Janet nodded allowing Emily to lock herself in her own bathroom.

‘I was flirting with Lucy Diamond!’ Emily chanted as she gripped the edge of the sink and stared herself down in the mirror. Closing her eyes, she breathed in and out in an attempt to calm her breathing and her mind. Looking at herself once again, she approximated Miranda’s most scathing glare and adopted The Look before turning away from her reflection.

Realizing that she hadn’t had the chance to pee all day, she thought she might as well go to the bathroom while she was actually in the bathroom, especially if Janet was listening with that concerned look still on her face outside the door to her room.

As the cold air hit her lady parts, Emily was suddenly alerted, even further, to the physical reality of her situation. Looking at the glistening wetness on her knickers Emily choked back a shocked observation.

“Oh. My. God.” She breathed as she dared to touch the wet spot with disbelieving fingertips.

‘Lucy. Diamond!’ She thought as she rolled her eyes. Of course Miranda Priestly wasn’t unobtainable enough. In one small jump she had gone from Ice Queen to Criminal Queen with her inappropriate lustings.

For the final damning evidence in the case of Emily’s body versus Emily’s common sense, she spread her legs and stroked two fingers up and through the folds of her pussy shuddering with readied pleasure as she slid through. Shocked and gasping from this small amount of contact Emily realized. ‘I’m wetter than a slaughterhouse floor!!!’ After taking a few moments to clean up and refresh, Emily decided it was time to face Janet.

Opening the door she was glad to see that her bedroom was empty and she thought that, if Janet was spying on her at least it was at the distance of the lounge. Emily shook her shoulders in an attempt to release some tension. She tried to prepare herself for the concerned puppy dog eyes of her comrade and possibly an attempted hug, however as she entered the room, Janet looked anything but concerned.

The fact that she was now pacing the length of the coffee table making exasperated breathy noises had caught Emily quite off guard. After a few agitated moments Janet stopped and turned on Emily, very much like their old team leader Max (who had rage issues).

“What just happened?!” Janet demanded. Emily’s jaw dropped in shock, stunned into a different kind of silence.

“Nothing happened.” Emily muttered slumping into her armchair.

Janet’s voice reached an uncomfortably high pitch as she let the accusations fly. “She was totally going to kiss you! You are so into her!” Janet stamped her foot as she locked eyes with Emily.

Squirming under the intensity of Janet’s gaze, Emily lashed out defensively. “I am not!” She shouted.

Silence fell on the room as they each contemplated the words said between them and the vehemence and suddenness with which they had been delivered. The meaning behind the shared outburst dawned simultaneously on the two women as delicately as a lead weight.

Janet sucked in a lungful of air and softened her voice. “Emily, you violated the prime directive. Plus, hello, it’s a *girl*.” She tutted and shook her head from side to side. “You are so busted!”

“Busted?!” Emily looked agog at Janet. “Are you kidding me, Janet?” Emily stalked toward her companion, using her towering height as an intimidation advantage. ‘The best defence is offence...Perfect score indeed... I’ll use every ounce of perfection that I have to regain control here.’ She told herself. “If anyone violated the code it was you.” Emily threw her comment harshly at Janet.

“What? How?”

“D.E.B.S. will not consort with any known enemy of the state under penalty of treason.”

“When was I consorting?” Puzzled Janet.

“You were flirting with Scud. I saw you give him your email address!”

“But… but… but… that’s not the same and you know it?” Janet stomped her foot again.

“And… Remember the time you grabbed the wrong accessories for the Michael Korrs shoot? Miranda would have fired you? I covered for you. I never told anyone. If Miranda ever found out you would not be allowed back in the building never mind get to be first assistant!!!”

Janet’s shock passed in waves but Emily barrelled on truly on a roll.

“You may have a shoplifting conviction which got you into the academy but here in the ‘real world’ that won’t get you anywhere but the city precinct.”

Janet gasped as Emily used air quotes to clearly mock her youthful indiscretions. She hadn’t shoplifted in years, it hadn’t hurt her future, and everyone in the D.E.B.S.—except little miss ‘Perfect Score’—had at least one skeleton in their closet.

Janet opened and closed her mouth in quick succession as if she was trying to work out whether or not her jaw muscles still worked. In reality her mind was grappling for a clever comeback before the tears started.

The imminent arrival of the tears and a flash in her mind of Max systematically tearing into her long-time friend caused Emily to relent her attack.

“I… I… Emily…” Janet stumbled over her words as she finally got her guppy mouth to work.

Emily rolled her eyes and steepled her hands in front of her mouth praying for the right words to end this evening. She desperately wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

“Relax.” Emily released her breath and looked calmingly at Janet, willing her to follow her lead and de-escalate. “Nothing happened and nothing will happen. Just go get some sleep. We’ve had a very busy day and I’m sure tomorrow will be even harder. If we don’t re-acquire the target—and fast—our next assignment will be a million times worse!”

Janet nodded weakly and made her way to the door. “We ok?” She asked timidly.

“Sure.” Emily reassured. “Good night.”

Emily closed the wooden barrier between her and the rest of the world; she pressed her forehead against the cold panel banging it several times, to enforce the closure. “Why can’t I have a simple life?” She sighed as she locked the door and made her way around the apartment to prepare for bed.

Lying down on her back with a grunt Emily placed her hands primly over her stomach. She stared up at the ceiling looking up for the answers, searching in the cracks and crinkles of the tired old ceiling. ‘One almost-kiss from Lucy Diamond…’ She thought as she closed her eyes to the image of Lucy’s sweet mouth getting closer to her own. ‘I’ve had no life beyond my cover at Runway for so long.’ She wiped the threat of a tear out of the corner of her eye that way she would never have to admit that she had been crying. ‘Was I in love with Miranda? Am I in love with Miranda?’ She wiped at her eye again this time drawing back slight moisture on her fingertips. ‘Was it just an inconvenient obsession to have on the most demanding boss in the world?’ Emily rolled on to her side, bringing her knees up so that she was curled into herself. ‘Did I just focus down to Miranda because there was nothing else?’ Emily hugged her knees tightly against her chest. ‘No Barcelona. No drawing. No Me. Do I even know who I am anymore?’ A whimper broke loose, away from the captors of her control and Emily closed her eyes to defend herself against the sounds of her own despair and confusion. No answers were going to come tonight, nor were pleasant slumbers.

Focusing on her breathing and the sound of the clock ticking from the hallway, she slowly she drifted into a tortured sleep.

On to part three

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Adele - Tired
scoutnaboutscoutnabout on February 14th, 2010 12:01 am (UTC)
Hope you don't mind if I borrow this one, "wetter than a slaughterhouse floor"? I'm sure it'll help me tag the ladies ;D That line was disturbingly funny.
ragelikeafire: Scud and janetragelikeafire on February 15th, 2010 01:12 am (UTC)
A line like that could only help in any flirting/stalking situation! I know we've all been there!

LOL! Thank you for taking me back to the good times and the disturbing fun I had writing this with the punkmeister. Her love and tolerence was unbeatable when I would come out with such lines and challenge her to make them work in context.

Thanks for reading!

Rage out!